Talked Out Tuesday: Motivation

More on That Monday: Friendship

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.  ~Elisabeth Foley

Angie and I met at a church function when we were 15 years old.  We were two of very few girls in a huge room full of boys, so naturally, we gravitated to each other.  Next thing you know, we were friends.

Since then, we've gone to college hours away from one another, been separated by jobs and families that took up all our time, and we currently live 4 hours apart and see each other, on average, once a year.  We've weathered all kinds of situations and have remained friends through it all.

One day, Angie's daughter was asking about what things she and I have in common.  We don't generally  like the same movies, books, music or TV shows.  Confused, Samantha asked why we were friends if we didn't have anything in common.  Angie replied that we were friends because we like each other.  And that's all friendship has to be.

I don't like the societal standard that is out there in movies and TV about what friends should have in common.  They should be the same age, same gender, same socio-economic class, and they should enjoy sitting around a table drinking coffee or beer.  Oh, and there should always be at least 4 friends in the group.  Less than that is just sad.

Bull hockey!!  Friends don't have to have anything in common other than that they like each other.  Differences of opinion make for lively conversation.  And a different take on things can open up your mind, challenge your convictions, and lead you to new likes and experiences.

How did you meet your best friend?  What are some of the differences and similarities you cherish?


This is the first in a series about friendship.  I challenge you to follow along.  You might learn something.  You might even make a new friend along the way. 

Friday Fun: Perfect Weekend

(I've had a busy week and haven't gotten to try out the new format yet.  Sorry about that.  I'll get with it next week.)

I woke up this morning to the sound of pouring rain and thunder.  And it's cold enough that I had slush on my windshield.  Bleh!

But what if it was beautiful this weekend?  What would make it a perfect weekend?  Here's what I would do...

What would make this a perfect weekend for you?

Coming Soon to a Blog Near You

I'm going to try something new with my blog.  It's a combination of ideas I've seen on other blogs and my own posting habits.  The new feature is that each day of the week will have its own theme.

• More on That Mondays - These will be stories that are related or in a series.  First up:  friendship.
• Talked Out Tuesdays - Tuesdays are my busiest day at the college, and I don't usually have much energy or time for blogging.  So I'll be posting only a video with no comment on it from me.  Might be a news story, or inspirational story, music I've discovered, or even a movie trailer.  You never know.
• Whatever Wednesdays - These will be similar to my current format - just whatever I happen to be thinking about, whether it's health, music, books, or Doctor Who.
• Thriving & Thoughtful Thursdays - I'll try to feature articles that make you think, encourage you to do something positive for yourself, or celebrate being in mid-life.
• Fun Fridays - This will be like yesterday was, just a fun list, or a story, a survey, something fun to get you ready for the weekend.
• Surprising Saturdays/Sunday - What will be the most surprising thing is that I posted anything at all!  

I hope you'll join me next week for my new format.  Be sure to comment and let me know what you think.

Friday Fun

I've seen several blogs and Facebook posts recently about creating lists.  The Music 30-Day Challenge, the ABC Posts, the Photo 30-Day Challenge, etc.  While I'm not too keen on actually doing any of these (because they always seem to include things I have no interest in) I do like the lists concept.  Lists are fun. 

So I decided to make a list of my Current Favorite Things (not in any particular order, just as I think of them).

1. Pomegranate Lemonade by Crystal Light
2. Supernatural on the CW
3. Fringe on FOX
4. Bejeweled 3 Butterflies
5. History 112 (American History since 1877)
6. Creating playlists in Media Player and on my MP3 player (Next up:  Road Songs)
7. Learning to crochet
8. Having a TV in the bedroom so I can watch the shows my hubby hates in peace
9. The weather (since yesterday)
10. My house post-spring cleaning
11. My tweed blazer
12. Going to the park for a run and finding it nearly empty
13. My crazy, jumbled, crowded and colorful cork board
14. Rock bands with awesome female lead singers
15. Daylight Savings Time
16. The Exiles
17. Def Leppard (always a favorite!!)
18. My Van Gogh "Sunflowers" copy
19. Phone time with my BFF Angie
20. Phone time with my daughter Carrie
21. Phone time with Mom
22. Blogging about favorite stuff!

Crazy Cork Board

"Sunflowers"

An awesome rock band with female lead singer:

Happy St. Patrick's Day

If you're enough lucky to be Irish, you're lucky enough!  
~Irish Saying


Since today is St. Patrick's Day, I made sure to wear green.  Are you celebrating?  What will you be doing?  Whatever you do, I hope you enjoy your day.

Customer "Service"

I once worked at a franchise of a large corporation, which was eye-opening on many levels.  We were always having retreats, training, conferences and meetings, rarely accomplishing more than wasting time that could have been spent on actually improving our services.  But I digress.

I remember one meeting with our Corporate Liaison (THAT was a cushy job) where we were discussing customer service.  This liaison was always telling stories about the great customer service she always got from a particular hotel chain, no matter where she went.  (In hindsight, the fact that her best customer service stories were about another company should have been some kind of sign.)

She asked us to share what businesses we thought had great customer service.  My assistant chimed in with Walmart.  When asked why she thought they had great customer service, she explained that she was able to do one-stop shopping there.  Never mind that she totally missed the point of the question, and possibly the entire meeting, but she obviously had never experienced customer service of any kind at the store.

My gripe with the mega-center is not so much about customer service as it is with the attitudes of their employees.  For instance, yesterday my husband and I stopped in to pick up a few things and ran into some relatives we hadn't seen in a while.  We were chatting in an aisle and since there were 4 of us, yes, we were taking up the whole aisle, but we were in electronics and there were no other customers in the area at the time.  Then an employee bumped past us without an "excuse me" to get to the great unknown through the double-doors at the back of the building. 

Were we taking up the aisle?  Yes.  Did he need to go through those doors?  Yes.  Did he have to bump past us to do so?  NO!  He could have easily gone around to another aisle to make his way to the cave. 

And that's what I experience every time I go there.  An employee who thinks he has the right of way over customers.  An employee who won't move her cart full of things she's restocking to let customers get by.  Employees walking down the aisle, taking up the entire aisle, who refuse to move so customers can easily pass by.  If it weren't for the fact that they are cheap and so am I, I would never shop there again. 

Those who work in businesses that involve actual people should remember the motto that Corporate Liaison always told us, "A customer is not an interruption of our work.  He is the sole purpose of it." 

Here's a funny video of just how frustrating dealing with customer service can be.

Learning Something New

My Granny "Square"

I had an interesting epiphany the other night.  But first, the back story...

My mom has always made beautiful crocheted gifts for family and friends.  This past Christmas, she made scarfs for the guys and house slippers with funny googly eyes for the grandsons.  (She also made bead earrings for all the gals.)  I have two beautiful afghans she has made for me, as well as bags and other gifts.  I decided that I would like to learn how to crochet so that I too can give these gorgeous, useful gifts from the heart.

So last Sunday afternoon I had my first lesson.  You can see in the picture above the lesson I'm currently working on.  It's called a Granny Square and can be used as a base for making lots of projects, plus it includes several basic stitches I need to know to build up to bigger tasks.  The middle is mostly the part my mom did to demonstrate the steps.  The second row is the one I did while Mom watched and helped me.  The outer row is the one I did by myself at home.  Can you see the downward progression?

So while I was unraveling the third row for about the third time and starting again, I commented to my husband that I knew what I was supposed to do, but it just wasn't turning out how it should.

Then came the epiphany.

Being the type of person who pretty much only learned things for academic reasons, once I learned something, I was done with it.  Mission accomplished.  Subject mastered.

But learning how to do something physical is different.  You can know in your head what to do without that translating into your body coming along for the ride.  Successful body movement is more than just knowing "how" to do something, but instead takes practice until the muscles also "know" what to do.

Understanding this is so simple and yet so profound to someone like me, who lives inside my head.  But my body is more than just a way to get my head where it wants to go.  It is part of me and I must let it learn what it needs to know through practice and repetition.  So if I don't get it right the first time, whether it's crocheting or running or doing yoga, I just have to try, try again.

Motivating Music

Whether I'm cleaning, working out, or heading out for a long drive somewhere, I like to have some music that gets me pumped up and ready to take care of business.  I'm always on the lookout for new songs to add to my playlist of motivational music.  Here are my latest additions and a bit about them. 

1.  Ali in the Jungle by The Hours.  I first heard this song on a commercial (see it here).  I really like the message of the song - we all get knocked down, but the key is when are you going to get up?




2.  Help, I'm Alive by Metric.  This is a song my daughter introduced me to and I not only like the tempo for running, but I really like the lyric "My heart keeps beating like a hammer." 




3.  (Geek Alert!!!)  An Awful Lot of Running by Chameleon Circuit.  This is what is known as TRock - Time Lord Rock.  The band only sings songs about The Doctor (from Doctor Who), who is a Time Lord, thus Time Lord Rock, thus TRock.  This song is a reference to the 2008 episode "The Doctor's Daughter" in which the Doctor's companion describes what the Doctor does, "saves worlds, rescues civilizations, defeats terrible creatures and runs a lot.  Seriously, there's an outrageous amount of running involved."



What songs do you find motivational?

Happy Valentine's Day

Grow old with me!  The best is yet to be.  ~Robert Browning  


On this day dedicated to love and all things of the heart, I thought I'd remind you to take care of your actual heart.

Looking at several health sites, I find that the top advice for a healthy heart are the following:

1. Eat plenty of fiber and whole grains.
2. Avoid cholesterol and unhealthy fats (trans fats & saturated fats)
3. Maintain a healthy weight.
4. Exercise regularly.
5. Find effective ways to deal with stress.
6. Stop smoking.

 If you have someone special in your life, enjoy your day together.  If you don't have a significant other, then do something nice for yourself.

Whatever you do, I hope you have a lovely Valentine's Day.
 

Friday Video

One of my favorite Pink Floyd tunes.  Have a great Friday!

Chase Your Dreams

Some people follow their dreams; others hunt them down and beat them mercilessly into submission. ~Neil Kendall


My husband and I were talking about dreams yesterday.  He has a friend who is a musician with some local success who apparently is not getting as far as he hoped in his musical career.  He described his time with the band as "a waste of time."

I have to say, I disagree wholeheartedly.  I don't think that chasing your dreams, even if you never reach them, is a waste of time.

I would say that there is a very good chance that I will never make it to the Ironman Triathlon.  But does that mean having that as an ultimate goal is a waste of time?  NO.  I'm working on getting in better shape, which is better for my health, whether I get into a certain race or not.  I'm learning things about myself, better understanding how healthy food and exercise benefit us, and am coming to appreciate a host of athletes who are an inspiration.  That is not a waste of time.

Sure, there are times when we come to realize that it's time to give up on some things.  Maybe we need to move on to something more attainable, or healthier, or whatever.  And only you can make that decision of if and when it's time to move on.  But in the meantime, you are learning, growing, trying, and persevering.  So keep at it.  Chase those dreams.  Be better and stronger.  

Here's a video about dreams featuring the amazing Blue Angels.  Hope you enjoy.

Friday Film

I just finished reading a book translated from the Swedish (see my book review page) and wrote about it this morning.  Since then, I've been thinking about Sweden, where my daughter lives, and all things Swedish.  So in trying to figure out what to post today, I decided to post my favorite little Swedish film short.

This was a project for a group of film students, one of whom is the brother of my daughter's boyfriend.  Mattis Hansson is his name and I wouldn't be surprised to one day see his name on the big screen.  This always makes me smile, so I thought it would be fun for a cold Friday.  Enjoy!

P.S.  The title translates to "road soul."

January Is Over???

Can you believe January is already over?  It seems like just yesterday we were writing our New Year's Resolutions, hanging up our 2011 calendars, and making plans for the brand new year.  And here it is one month gone.

So how are your resolutions going?  Honestly, mine are not going so well.  Between aches, pains and the weather, I'm getting nowhere fast.  I'm hoping February will be a little kinder so I can make some progress.

I did want to point out a few good links for those who are still reaching toward keeping a resolution or looking to check something off the bucket list.  I hope you find these helpful as we move into another month.

1. Fitness.  Not everyone likes to get outside to work out and many people can't afford a monthly gym membership.  Did you know you can access workouts online for free (or nearly free)?  There's a whole website devoted to exercise called Exercise TV.  You can find mini workouts, full-length routines, and even fitness plans.  (Thanks for the info, Carrie!)  Or if you are a Netflix subscriber, you can access hundreds of workout videos.  Some can only be obtained in disc format sent to you, but there are some you can stream to your computer. 
2. Healthy food.  It's not always easy to eat right.  Especially with birthday parties, Super Bowl parties, Valentine's Day, or just a normal weekend get-together with friends and family.  All these activities can really tax our efforts to stay on track.  But here are a couple of sites that can help you get back on the wagon, or keep you on it.  First up is Cooking Light's site.  The site focuses on great tasting food without all the fat and calories.  They currently have up lots of great ideas on how to trim down those Super Bowl favorites.  Another site I really like is Jamie Oliver's.  You may not know Jamie, but he is a chef (first known in the US as The Naked Chef because he strips recipes down to their basics.  Get it?) who is dedicated to helping people eat healthfully and encouraging schools to feed kids better.  He is all about good food made from fresh, preferably local, ingredients so you know nothing artificial or unhealthy is going into the finished product.  He has a great newsletter.  (I think if you sign up right now you can get a voucher for Naked Wines, a group of winegrowers with similar passions to Jamie's.)  Definitely check out his great site.
3. Languages.  I know lots of people have "Learn a language" on their bucket list.  Okay, first of all, you need to pick a language.  Some people think they need to have a reason to learn a specific language, like for work or family.  But actually, it's perfectly fine to pick one just because.  Got your language in mind?  Swahili?  Gaelic?  Lithuanian?  Okay, now head over to Live Mocha and get started.  This is a free website for learning languages.  They use the same principles found in expensive programs, but it's all online and it's free.  They do have some courses you can buy, but for the general interest learner, there is no charge.  In addition, it is a cooperative community where you are graded by speakers of the language you are learning and, in turn, you help those who are learning English.  It's a lot of fun and so easy to use.  I've already completed Swedish 101 and am going to start 102 soon.
4. Learn something new.  Studies have shown that learning helps keep our brains resilient and less prone to Alzheimer's and other debilitating brain disorders.  So consider learning something new.  A quick glance at my local community college's website shows 3 continuing education courses this week:  quilting, floral arrangement and digital photography.  Check with your local college or university to see what continuing education courses they have.  These are usually short, free or inexpensive courses that teach you the basics of a skill, craft or art.  Or maybe you want to take something more academic, but don't want to actually attend school.  Consider taking free online courses like those listed here.  You can download courses to your mp3 player or computer.  How neat!  I may download Ancient Greek History.  Or if you want a short, informative lecture, check out my favorite learning site TED.com.  The site is full or short lectures on everything from politics to music to art to humor.  It's an amazing site.

So there you have it.  A list of lots of great places to go to get started on your resolutions and/or bucket lists.  And all from the comfort of your computer chair.  What sites do you use to help you reach your goals?

Getting Back on Track

Winter is the time of promise because there is so little to do - or because you can now and then permit yourself the luxury of thinking so.  ~Stanley Crawford


School started back up for me last week, then was quickly canceled later in the week due to snow.  I spent the weekend with a headache, and just generally felt rotten.  Needless to say, I didn't get much exercising done, only a little yoga.

So this is going to be a good week to get back into the swing of things.  Temps won't be quite as low, no snow (fingers crossed), lesson planning is caught up, and I woke up headache-free this morning!  So no excuses for me.  I think I'm going to start on some upper-body strength routines, add in some miles at the park, and keep up the yoga.

What nice thing are you going to do for yourself this week?

Related Rant

You know what I really hate?  I hate those commercials where the person says that it's so easy to lose weight on the so-and-so system.  NO, IT'S NOT!!!

Sleeping late is easy.  Sitting on the couch is easy.  Watching TV is easy.  Snacking on ice cream and cake is easy.  Driving from one store to another across the road is easy.  Taking a nap rather than doing yoga is easy.  Easy gets us what we've already got.  Easy gets us a belly and big hips.  Easy gets us high blood pressure and high cholesterol.  Easy gets us blocked arteries and heart disease.  Easy gets us diabetes.

Losing weight is HARD.  It's hard to change your lifestyle.  It's hard to eat healthy, nutritious foods every day.  It's hard to get up early to get in a workout before work.  It's hard to put down the remote, turn off the computer, and go outside for a run.  It's hard to make the changes in our lives that are necessary to lose weight, get healthy, and stay that way.

So stop lying to us, stupid commercial ladies.

The Big One

As I mentioned yesterday, losing weight or achieving a specific athletic goal is the number one New Year's Resolution each and every year.  It's probably on many of your lists this year, as it has been on mine in the past.  The thing is, there are tons of misconceptions about losing weight.

Put simply, in order to lose weight, one must take in fewer calories than one expends.  It takes a deficit of 3500 calories to lose one pound.  That deficit can be created by eating/drinking less, exercising more, or some combination of both.  Let's begin by looking at the intake side of things.

Ask any doctor how to lose weight and you will be told, "diet and exercise."  The problem is with that word "diet."  The word comes from several old words, including the Greek word diaita, meaning "way of life," and the Latin word dieta, "daily food allowance."  In the 14th century, the word began to take on a meaning of restriction of food, and in 1650, diet took on the additional meaning "regulate one's food intake against fatness."

Today, a diet is that awful way of starving yourself half to death, making yourself and everyone around you miserable, only to lose 2 pounds.  And when you stop dieting, you gain it all back.

What we need to do is to take back the ancient definition of diet.  Your diet is your "way of life."  It doesn't mean deprivation and starvation.  Your diet is your way of eating and drinking.  Let's make an effort for that diet to be a healthy one.

Follow these links to learn more about good nutrition and a healthy diet from the U.S. Government, helpguide.org, UC Berkeley, and the Mayo Clinic.
Click here to read about the health impact of soda.

Top Ten Resolutions

There are different kinds of top ten lists - they can be a list of the most popular, most common, most frequent, most needed, hardest, etc.  My Top Ten New Year's Resolutions is a combination of a variety of lists.  I have ordered them by what seems to be the most common and the most needed goals.  I'll be blogging about these resolutions and offering some tips, advice, cautions, encouragements, and so on as the month goes along.

1. Lose weight/achieve an athletic goal.
2. Learn something new.
3. Quit smoking.
4. More quality time with friends & family.
5. Save money/reduce debt/stick to budget.
6. Read more.
7. Volunteer/help others
8. Get organized.
9. Get a job/better job.
10. Document moments of life's awesomeness.

 These all seem to be pretty good goals and I wouldn't be surprised to find that you have one or two of these on your To Do List for 2011.  Which ones are you considering giving the old college try?

Letting Go

The other day, I got into a conversation with a woman at the grocery store when she commented on the cough I am still getting over thanks to a recent cold.  She informed me that she, too, had recently had a cold.  She expressed the conviction that she'd caught her cold from standing outside in the cold for too long.

Now I'm pretty sure it is the 21st century and it is a well-established fact that colds are caused by viruses, and not by being cold, despite the similarity in names.  Benjamin Franklin knew back in the 1700s that the cold was transmitted by infected people to others via close contact.  Somehow, it seems logical to me that at this point in time that people would no longer believe colds are caused by being cold.

There are just some things we should let go of.

• Archaic Ideas.  If science has proven something wrong, or true, just accept it and move on.  Colds are caused by viruses.  Hair does not grow back thicker or darker after shaving.  Chiggers do not burrow into your skin so putting nail polish on the bite will not kill them.  
• The Past.  A friend told me about a loved one's comment that she would never let go of the past as it defined her.  But at the same time the loved one was saying this, she was failing to self-reflect, grow as a person, or take responsibility for her actions.  What's done is done.  Use your past to create a better future; don't use it as a crutch.
• Toxic Relationships.  Every holiday season, you hear people complain about having to spend time with relatives they don't like.  My question is, why spend time with them?  Life is too short to put up with crappy people.  Decide if a relationship is healthy for you and take appropriate steps to do something positive for yourself.
• Bad Habits.  As soon as you read those two words, something popped into your head, didn't it?  We all know what our bad habits are, why they are bad for us, and how hard it's going to be to change.  Accept that it won't be easy, remember why you should make the change, and take the plunge.  Rid yourself of bad habits this year.

Letting go of things could be your best move in 2011.

Getting Started

Men's natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them.  ~Confucius

Studies have shown that it takes 21 days to form a new habit.  These studies also indicate that the action has to be performed every day in that 21-day period to really stick.

Other experts suggest doing something for one month, since not everyone will stick to something new every single day for 21 days.

So what does all this mean for those of us trying to improve our healthy habits?  I see it as consistency and small steps.

If you are trying to make positive changes this year, here are some tips to get you started.

1. Don't try to change everything at once.  If you want to stop smoking, eat more healthfully, and lose weight, you may want to tackle these issues one at a time.  You could become overwhelmed with the sheer magnitude of trying to do it all at once and give up on all of it, never to try again.  That is not the way to go!  Pick one habit and work on that before adding another.
2. You can do anything for one month.  Don't try to pretend you will never eat junk food again.  Just give it up for one month while you work on eating better.  Breaking time into months makes your objective so much more manageable and less daunting.  Plus if you mess up, there's always next month!
3. Stop thinking of foods as good or bad.  Yes, you do want to limit high-fat/high-sugar foods.  But if you think of them as no-nos, you'll only want them more.  If you allow yourself to have the foods you want, in moderation, you will be less likely to overindulge.
4. Write it down.  Whether you are going to work out 4 days a week, or want to eat healthfully, writing down your actions will help you reach your goals.  Seeing those blank days on the calendar will help you get out there and take a walk.  Adding up those calories will help you see how well you are doing and where you can make little adjustments.
5. Give up the All-or-Nothing attitude.  Just because you messed up one day, one week, one month, or even one whole year is no reason to give up on yourself altogether.  Every day is a new day and you can start again any time.  Never give up.  Never surrender.  
6. Find what works for you.  Some people will tell you that you have to go to the gym to work out.  Others say walk in your neighborhood.  Walk with a friend.  Walk your dog.  Buy a home gym.  Etc, etc, etc.  Truth is, for your new habit to stick, you're going to have to figure out what works for you.  I don't like running in my neighborhood because of the dogs and lack of sidewalks.  I don't like the Coliseum because of the walkers taking up the entire catwalk.  I don't mind the gym, but I'm too cheap to pay for membership.  What works for me is going to McLane Park.  It's the only way that works for me.  Figure out what is going to work for you.
7. Don't expect miracles.  You probably are not going to lose 5 pounds in a week.  You may not lose 5 p0unds in a month.  But you are going to get healthier, increase your life span, decrease your disease risk, and feel more energized if you not only start up a healthy habit, but keep it for life.

You can do this!