Mid-life Without the Crisis

It really isn't the destination, but the journey. May be cliche, but it's true.

Monday, March 28, 2011

More on That Monday: Friendship

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.  ~Elisabeth Foley

Angie and I met at a church function when we were 15 years old.  We were two of very few girls in a huge room full of boys, so naturally, we gravitated to each other.  Next thing you know, we were friends.

Since then, we've gone to college hours away from one another, been separated by jobs and families that took up all our time, and we currently live 4 hours apart and see each other, on average, once a year.  We've weathered all kinds of situations and have remained friends through it all.

One day, Angie's daughter was asking about what things she and I have in common.  We don't generally  like the same movies, books, music or TV shows.  Confused, Samantha asked why we were friends if we didn't have anything in common.  Angie replied that we were friends because we like each other.  And that's all friendship has to be.

I don't like the societal standard that is out there in movies and TV about what friends should have in common.  They should be the same age, same gender, same socio-economic class, and they should enjoy sitting around a table drinking coffee or beer.  Oh, and there should always be at least 4 friends in the group.  Less than that is just sad.

Bull hockey!!  Friends don't have to have anything in common other than that they like each other.  Differences of opinion make for lively conversation.  And a different take on things can open up your mind, challenge your convictions, and lead you to new likes and experiences.

How did you meet your best friend?  What are some of the differences and similarities you cherish?

This is the first in a series about friendship.  I challenge you to follow along.  You might learn something.  You might even make a new friend along the way. 


Angie Dixon said...

Is it as often as once a year? Feels like once every two or three.

Of course I'm glad you talked about me :)

But I was actually thinking about this over the weekend, thinking about what I can help people with, as a writer and coach, what women our age, women "like us" want and need.

And one thing I realized is that I know an awful lot of people who don't really like their friends. Not their best friends, but most people have friends they hang out with to avoid being alone.

Part of the problem with THAT is, if you're hanging out with someone you don't like, you don't have time to meet and engage with people you DO like.

I keep my friendships to a minimum because I put a lot of time into them, and because I really do only want to be close to people I really like.

Of the four people in my life I'm close to, besides my kids, none of you are all that much like me, and you're all as different from each other as humanly possible.

I like that.

Who wants more me? I get that when I'm sitting in my office alone.

And we do agree on things. We agree that the only requirement for friendship is that we like each other.

And I'm making an effort to listen to music you find less noxious than Cher :)

J.R. Davis said...

Exactly! Life is too short to spend it with people you don't even like.