Living Cheaply

Recently I've been asked a couple of times how I manage financially.  Now these people weren't being rude, just curious.  Let me explain.  I have not worked full time in over 4 years thanks to a layoff right before the financial crisis hit.  Yay for timing!

So now that my income is about 1/3 of what it once was, Hubby and I still have managed to pay off our debts and start saving.  The questions make sense now, huh?

So I thought it might be nice to share some of my tips and ideas that have helped us get by because there might be some others out there looking for ways to live on less.

I think it might be important to accept right off that if you need to live on less, you have to give up all notions of keeping up with the Joneses, or of being hip, cool or stylish.  Probably not gonna happen.  But if you manage your money well when the chips are down, when things improve, you'll be well-trained for living larger.

I think the main thing to do is to spend less.  Here are some ways we do this:

• Eat at home - Eating out is expensive.  Buying ingredients at the store and making things at home is much cheaper.  It can also be a great way to bond in the kitchen and watch your weight.
• Limit restaurant expense - We do eat out occasionally but we do it rarely (maybe once a month), we don't order the most expensive items, and we often get take-out to avoid all the expensive pitfalls of restaurant eating like appetizers and drinks.
• Vacations?  What are those? - The only thing we can even count as a vacation in years was one overnight stay in Memphis.  Sorry, but that money needs to be saved just in case.  I can lay in the sun and read a book on my deck.
• Libraries, my dears. - Speaking of books, I don't buy them.  Ever.  Not even digital versions for my Kindle for PC program.  You can get books free at libraries, many can be found online for free, and if you'll take good care of them, you may find friends who will loan you theirs.
• Cheaper movies. - We only go to the theater for big sci-fi or special effects or blockbuster movies (think Batman or Star Trek). We wait for things to come out on video and pick them up at the video store.  We also make sure to take it back the next day to get a store credit that makes the next one we rent cheaper.
• Brands, Schmands. - As much as possible, we buy off-brand items.  Sure, I have to have my name brand toothpaste, but why would I spend more on paper towels just to wipe up spills and throw them in the trash?
• Coupons! - For those name brands, I try to find coupons.  I print coupons from websites like coupons.com, check all those ones that come in the mail, and look for other options.  I'm by no means an extreme couponer.  First of all, I won't spend money in order to get coupons.  I'm not going to buy a magazine just to get a coupon.  That's stupid.  And secondly, I'm not going to spend that much time on it.  I don't want couponing to become my new full-time job.
• Cut back on extras. - I dropped my newspaper and magazine subscriptions.  Think about things that you don't really need and get rid of them.  They may be things that you enjoy, but if sacrifices need to be made, do it.
• Limit utility expenses. - Those suckers add up fast.  So do things like wash only full loads of laundry or dishes, hang up clothes outside to dry and let dishes air dry, set your central heat and air at a temp that is comfortable but doesn't allow it to run all the time, take shorter showers, cut back on watering the lawn and washing your car, and so on.
• No gyms for me. - I do exercise regularly, but not at a gym.  We go to the park or walk at the free walking track at the nearby indoor track.  I also work out at home with exercise videos or instructions found online for free.

There's a start for you! Check back later and I'll bring you more savings tips and ideas.

Books, Book, and More Books

If you've ever headed over to my Book Recommendations page, you know I keep a little notebook with me to write down book recommendations.  I make notes of who suggested it, whether I've got it on hold at the library, and what I thought of it.  I also recently discovered that the easiest way to put books on my "list" when I'm out at the giant movie/book/music superstore is to whip out my camera phone and take pictures of the covers.  They probably think I'm weird, photographing books, but really I'm just too cheap to buy them.  I use the college library since it's oh so handy.

So anyway,  I thought I'd fill you in on some of my recent finds.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith.  Yeah, I know.  But really, it's good.  I haven't seen the movie but it looks like an action tour de force.  The book isn't like that.  It's the weaving of Lincoln's own words and actions with a compelling fantasy narrative.  Several times while reading, I felt like maybe the book does a disservice to the historical and great Lincoln, but I couldn't help but enjoy the story.  I especially liked the ending.

5th Victim by Zoe Sharp.  Sharp writes about a close protection agent (bodyguard) by the name of Charlie Fox.  She was born with a golden spoon in her mouth, but joined the military and has endured some horrendous treatment at the hands of others.  In this novel, Charlie is hired to protect a young trust-fund heir after a series of kidnappings in their luxury circle.  Fox thwarts one attempt, but the circumstances lead to questions about who's behind this and why.  When Charlie finds out the answers, she will not be happy.  Check it out.

The Toss of a Lemon by Padma Viswanathan.  This is the story of an Indian woman from around 1900 to her death in the 1960s.  It is also the tale of her family members.  This is a story that's about the journey, not the destination.  You'll be introduced to cultures, beliefs, and customs that are probably unfamiliar, and may even make you angry, but the journey is wonderful and stays with you for days, especially as much of the story is based on the author's grandmother's life.  I didn't even want to pick up my next book so I could continue to ponder the life of Sivakami. 

Here are some on my "to read" list for summer:

Survivors (The Morningstar Strain) by Z.A. Recht

The Hypnotist's Love Story by Liane Moriarty

Into the Darkest Corner by Elizabeth Haynes

In the summer, I usually read dozens of books, but since I'm teaching this summer, I haven't had as much time.  What are you reading this summer?

Summer Olympics!

I love how two different conversations can merge in your head and form something completely new.  I was talking recently with family and friends about snappy comebacks.  I said that I always think of them much later - I guess I'm clever but not quick.  Then later that evening, I mentioned I was excited about the Summer Olympics and someone asked me why.  At the time I said something like, "Because it's the top athletes in the world competing in amazing challenges."

My clever response came much later, but here it is.

The Olympics is a competition that began centuries ago, but has been revived and updated in modern times, and continues to change with the times.  It is an opportunity for the nations of the world to meet in battle without firing any shots, other than starter pistols.  Nearly every nation in the world, recognized or unrecognized, participates.  Athletes show what dedication, training, and persistence can yield in the human body.  The strength, grace, agility and speed of human bone, muscle and sinew are on display in a way that nothing else captures.  Olympic athletes are winners, are beautiful, are to be emulated.  For a few brief weeks, the whole world comes together in a way that is so rare as to be cherished - we are in friendly competition, cheer for one another, and are involved in an activity together, watching our world's greatest athletes.  It is a thing of beauty.

Authentically Me

Cyndi Lauper in the 1980s

I remember being a teenager and wanting to do my hair like Cyndi Lauper, pop star.  But I knew I couldn't get away with that color or cut because of some of the places that I'd have to go, like church or school.  Even if my parents had let me, I was pretty sure I'd be shunned or ridiculed for my choice.

As I've gotten older, those pressures and societal constraints have changed but not gone away completely.  I wouldn't exactly be able to wear my hair like Cyndi in my job as a college instructor (at least not at the conservative Midwest college where I am).  But at least I don't have to worry about my school mates or church anymore. 

I've come to realize that is one of the great things about getting older.  I can look back at those things that prevented me from expressing my true self when I was younger and make the decision to leave those things behind.  I'm going to be me whether anyone likes it or not, and those who don't like it will be ignored.

Whitesnake has a song released a few years ago called "Best Years" with the lyric These are the best years...of my life.  I can really relate to that because these are the years that I know what I like, I'm unafraid to express myself, and I'm unwilling to spend time with people or in places that drain the happiness out of me.  I will spend the 2nd half of my life with people I love, I will do things I like doing, and I will not spend time in places that make me feel bad about who I am or what I like.  I will be truly, happily, geekily, authentically me.

Of course, that doesn't mean I still want Cyndi's haircut.  But I still love this song:

Live and Let Live

Perhaps this week you've heard about the brouhaha stirred up by CNN commentator Hillary Rosen's comment that Ann Romney (wife of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney) has "never worked a day in her life." (BTW, she stayed home to raise 5 boys.)

Also this week, I saw a question to an advice columnist asking how to deal with stay-at-home moms who say, "I didn't have my kids to have someone else raise them."

It seems that there is an issue here between working moms and stay-at-home moms.

If getting older has taught us anything, it should be that we all have to make hard choices in life.  Maybe someone would have preferred to be a stay-at-home mom, but financial circumstances simply didn't allow that.  Or maybe someone longed for the busy life of working, but just couldn't see leaving children with a sitter.  We all had to make choices about how to live our lives and we have to live with the consequences, positive or negative, of those choices.

But we all need to remember that just because the choice we made worked for us in our circumstances at the time, that choice was ours, not someone else's.  Meaning that someone else's decision is not ours to make.

So don't judge one another about these decisions.  We don't know what someone else may be dealing with or the reasons they made the choices they made.  We should not be judging working moms or stay-at-home moms based on our own choices.

If growing older has taught us anything, it should be live and let live.

Votes for Women

Do you know what percentage of women in your age range are registered to vote?  Or how many voted in 2010?  According to the U.S. Census, women in my age range report being registered to vote at a 63.8% rate, but of those, only 38.6 actually vote.

Now I understand that there are times when it really feels like choosing the lesser of 2 evils when voting, and sometimes we are sick.  But also according to the census, the largest percentage of voters say they didn't vote because they were too busy or not interested.

So I'm issuing a challenge.  I'd like you to rent the movie Iron Jawed Angels.  It is the story of Alice Paul and the horrendous treatment she endured while fighting for the passage of the 19th Amendment, which gave women the right to vote, some 55 years after African-American men got that same right after the Civil War.  It is not a pretty picture.  If you don't have the opportunity to do that, then at least read about the Silent Sentinels.

I think that after realizing how hard women had to fight for the right to vote, we should cherish that right.  We had to fight to have a voice in our government - let's make sure our voices are heard.

Here's a link to the various census charts on voting.

Here's a link to the wiki article on the Silent Sentinels.

And here's a trailer for the movie, which is available from Netflix, but I don't know about other outlets.

Spring Break!

Yay!  I'm officially on spring break as of today.  You can probably tell because I actually posted a blog. :)  And while it would be great to go to the Bahamas or on a cruise like some of my students are doing, I am, instead, taking a short road trip with the bestie and then chillin' for the rest of the week.

Ang and I are going to see a Charlotte Brontë manuscript that she wants to see and then on to the site of Winston Churchill's Iron Curtain speech that I want to see.  (Can you tell who was the English major and who was the history major?)  While we're out and about we'll stop and see whatever roadside attractions catch our eyes, but mostly we'll gab, snack and listen to road trip songs.

Any suggestions for songs to listen to, places to eat in the Columbia, Missouri, area, or great snacks to try?

Coffee! Coffee!! Coffee!!!

Mmmm...I love me some coffee.  Granted, my earliest taste of coffee was the half-coffee/half-milk mixture my parents treated us kids to on occasion.  (I still take mine with cream and sugar.)  So I wanted to share a few things with you.

First, I'm super proud of the work my daughter is doing in Peru, working with fair trade coffee.  Here's her blog on the subject.  If you're interested in buying fair trade coffee, here's one source.  This is the brand that some of my friends buy and they say it's tasty stuff.  Pura Vida Coffee is the name.  I pick up the fair trade French Roast Sam's Choice at Walmart.

Secondly, I got to thinking about how Peru has this huge coffee export business, but no coffee culture, and that made me wonder about Spain's coffee culture.  And I happened upon this little article comparing Spain to Germany.  Nothing Earth-shattering, just an interesting look into another part of the world.

And finally, I found a recipe for homemade coffee creamer.  I did the math tonight and found that an off-brand creamer comes to 9 cents per ounce.  This recipe comes to about 6 cents per ounce.  Pretty good deal.  Plus, I can make the flavor that my local store no longer carries (for some weird reason).  Vanilla Cinnamon.  I simply added 1/2 tsp of cinnamon to the recipe.  I'm going to figure out how to make a mocha one - that will be good.

So those are some things to ponder and read over while you sip your cup of joe in the morning.  Hope you have a great day! Oh, and here's a video of my favorite singer, Robert Plant.  Enjoy!

Getting Crafty

I am a very visual person.  I love to have words of wisdom, to-do lists, calendars, photos and other things I love in plain sight.  My cork board by my desk is full of such things.  But I also have a magnetic dry erase board that I write all kinds of notes on.  I decided the other day to update the look by turning some of those quotes into art.

First, I typed up the quotes in a word processing program and changed up the fonts, colors and borders.  Like this: 

Then I cut out and stuck my phrases to adhesive backed magnets.  They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.  Here are a couple of examples: 

These are a great size for photos

Avery sheets can be used in your printer!

 After peeling off the back, I just hung them up on my board and now I can use them to hold up more words of wisdom and to-do lists.  Notice the ones I made previously using pictures.  You can definitely personalize this idea to whatever type of picture you'd like to hang up.  Works great for fridge magnets too.

Peaceful Surroundings

I love peace.  I love a day where things just go according to plan and I can accomplish all the things I wanted and then some.  I had a day like that yesterday.

One of the things that I find helps me keep that peaceful feeling is to make my surroundings calm and peaceful.  For me, that means a clean, organized house.  Well, as organized as I can get in our somewhat small home that overfloweth with the things we collect and love.  But I really enjoyed cleaning the kitchen yesterday.  Hubby even joined in and did the dusting and vacuuming for me.  Awesome!!  While I did a load of laundry, I thought about how easy I have it compared to women years ago.

Think about how women used to do the laundry.  Scrubbing it on a washboard over a basin of water, wringing it out, hanging it on the line, ironing it out with an iron that had to be heated on a stove.  Yowza!!  I can throw in a load and go do something else, throw it in the dryer and go do something else, and then come back and hang it or fold it without worrying about ironing.  Easy peasy.

Modern conveniences sure make for a peaceful life and maybe when we get tired of dealing with them, we should thank our lucky stars we were born in the modern age.  Hooray for peace!


Tip:  Here's my best laundry tip.  If you hate dealing with socks and underwear as much as I do, you'll want to take note.  Put a drawer system in your laundry area.  I use those large plastic 3-drawer stack-able ones you can get cheap at the super store.  Put a label on the front of each one for each member of the family.  When socks and underwear come out of the dryer, instead of folding and carrying to the bedroom, just stick 'em in the right person's drawer and voila - you're done. 

Here's a lovely song to add to the peace of your day.

Hello, 2012!!

I know, I know.  I've been a terrible blogger of late.  I tend to get caught up in other things and ignore this page.  I think that should be my resolution for 2012 - blog regularly.

Speaking of resolutions, I didn't really have any this year.  Instead, I'm going with themes.  Within each, I have concepts, but I'm letting things be very fluid and relaxed this year.  Here are my themes and concepts: 

1.  Learn something new.

• Swedish - I'm getting back to learning a new language on Livemocha.  I'll probably have to review all my old lessons before I start any new ones, but that's okay.
• Guitar - My mom gave me a guitar and I wanna give it a try.  My husband plays and I'm going to have him teach me.  I may not like it - I didn't stick with piano lessons as a kid - but I thought it might be fun.
• Crochet - My mom crochets and she started teaching me last year, but I got involved in a cross-stitch project and never got back to the crochet.  This is the year!!  I'll probably try a scarf in Doctor Who colors.

2.  Do what's right even if no one else does.

• Be Kind - This is not always easy when people cut you off in traffic, are rude to you, or whatever, but I'm going to work on doing the right thing anyway.
• No Votes for Bums - I'm also applying this concept to my voting.  I won't vote for anyone who votes to violate our civil rights.  I know that means I might end up with no one to vote for, but that's okay.
• Tell 'Em Why - I've also started writing to our leaders telling them why I will not be voting for them.  Again, may not make any difference, but I think it's the right thing to do.

So what are your goals, themes, resolutions and plans for this new year???

FREE Book!

At this time of year, it's easy to get stressed.  With all the decorating, buying and wrapping gifts, throwing and attending parties, traveling, and so on, it's easy to forget yourself and get lost in stuff.  Next thing you know, the holidays are over, you're exhausted and thrilled just to go back to your regular routine, without even having enjoyed the holidays!

This year, try something different.  Make an effort to stay calm and enjoy all the events associated with the season.  How?  One way is to read the book that I wrote with my best friend and her daughter.  It's a step-by-step plan designed to keep you focused on what's important at this time of year.  The book is featured below and it's FREE!  One less thing to worry about.

Chapter 1:  Don't make the choice to feel stressed.

Chapter 2:  Just Say No

Chapter 3:  Eat More Turkey

That's it!  That's your holiday less-stress plan.  Now get out there and enjoy the holidays.

Take A Moment

My, it's been a while since I posted!  I guess I've been so busy that I just let this slide, but I enjoy sharing ideas and thoughts with others, so I'm going to make a better effort.

What with Thanksgiving, family visiting, family crises, and the upcoming holiday, this has been, and continues to be, a busy time of year for me, and probably for you as well.  I think we should take a moment to just be.  Enjoy that coffee.  Listen to that favorite song.  Laugh with your friend over a silly joke.  Take a walk.  Take a nap.  Let all the stress go.  All the demands on your time will be there when you're done taking care of yourself.  We don't know how long we have on this Earth - would you want to spend what theoretically could be your last day stressing about something?  Then don't.

Sit back and enjoy the moment with this song by the great Stevie Ray Vaughan (R.I.P.) and his brother Jimmy.

Keep Moving!

In a previous post, I wrote about some health lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better about our habits.  Today I want to address the topic of just how much exercise you are getting.

One way we are told we can burn more calories is to take the stairs or park further from our building.  Now if you live or work in a building with 20 floors, I'm sure that's good advice.  But in my town, the tallest building we have is probably only 3 or 4 stories tall.  And considering that climbing stairs burns about 5-10 calories per minute (depending on weight), I might burn all of 30 calories going from basement to top.  That's not much.

Instead, consider finding an activity you enjoy and doing it long enough to make a real difference.  Here's a handy chart for you to look up the calorie burn for some common exercises. [Calorie Burn Chart]

Of course, using the stairs is still a good idea and we should all do that when we can.  Now if we only lived in a 20-story walk-up with stairs like these:

You Have the Right to Remain Silent....

I'm sure we've all heard the Miranda Warning on our favorite cop show.  It's a Supreme Court mandated way of ensuring individuals who are arrested are aware of their rights.

..."Everything you say can and will be used against you..."  That's the portion that has a tendency to creep from the legal world into our everyday lives.  You probably have a friend or family member like that.  They remember exactly what you said on October 12, 1975.  Or how you reacted when you got mad at them and every angry word you said.  And they make sure to remind you of just exactly what those words were.

I think it's safe to say that we all have said things we regret.  Sometimes we regret them the minute we hear them come out of our mouths; other times we regret them when we calm down.  Whenever we come to regret something we said, however, we don't want that friend standing there reminding us of just what was said.

So is the solution to issue a "Friendship Miranda" to people to let them know we're going to hold everything they say against them?  No.  The solution is to learn to let things go.  Forgive.  Forget.  Move on.  If a friendship is worth having, then you should not be holding words against one another.

Don't Mirandize your friends and family.  Let them off the hook.

Where Have You Been?

Goodness, it's been a long time since I've posted anything!  I've had a busy summer, though, thanks to 2 main things.

1.  I taught summer classes for the first time ever.  I only did the B session, meaning 4 days a week during the month of July.  I taught 2 classes and you would not believe how exhausted I was at the end of every day.  I realized about 1/2 way through the semester that I was cramming the work I would normally do in 4 months' time into 1 month.  No wonder I was so tired!!

2.  My daughter was home for the summer!  Yay!  We had so much fun and it was so nice to have her and her boyfriend around.  We just took them back to the airport last week and I already miss them.

And of course, school started this week, so it's back to lesson planning and dealing with Blackboard (an online communication hub for schools that can be a blessing and a curse at the same time).

I'll try to get back to posting regularly.  In the meantime, please enjoy this musical interlude.

Lie #1 - Diet Soda Cancels out Junk Food

As I wrote in my previous entry, we like to lie to ourselves because sometimes it's just easier.  Let's take a look at the first lie:  You tell yourself you can eat that cheeseburger and fries because you're drinking a diet soda.

First let's consider how many calories you need in a day.  That's called your BMR and you can find out more about BMR and how to figure yours here.  Let's say your BMR is 2500.  That means you need 2500 calories per day to maintain your current weight and activity level.

Now let's consider that cheeseburger and fries.  Obviously, where you get your burger is important, but let's just say you get it from Burger King.  Go here to pick your toppings and see how many calories you will get from that.  For example, a favorite of mine would be 710 calories.  Fries would be 440 calories (and that's for a medium).  Total:  1150 calories. 

Now I grant you that a regular soda would be an additional 200-300 calories, and diet soda is definitely better on the calorie count.  But seriously, can you afford to be eating almost half of your day's allowance of calories in a single fat-filled meal?  Probably not. 

We all love to splurge now and then on a burger and fries.  Just remember to not splurge every day or even every week.  You should probably limit these kind of high-calorie meals to once a month.  Perhaps even choose a lighter alternative and then you won't have to lie to yourself to feel okay.

Tread Lightly...Those Are My Toes!

Lying can be a form of ego protection.  A defense mechanism.  We lie to ourselves because believing the lie is easier than making the change that would logically follow embracing the truth. 

Author Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn put it like this:  "We do not err because truth is difficult to see.  It is visible at a glance.  We err because this is more comfortable."

I see this tendency to lie to ourselves particularly in the world of health and exercise.  With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy for the style, here is my list of health lies.

You Might Be Lying to Yourself If...

• You tell yourself you can eat that cheeseburger and fries because you're drinking a diet soda. 
• You think that taking the stairs in your building or parking a bit further from the office will substitute for working out. 
• You say that you can't work out because of that pain in your head, the cold you have, or the ache in your back.  You say that you will work out when you feel better.
• You decide that you're not really THAT overweight because you weigh less than some random stranger at the store appears to weigh.
• You consider yourself to be healthy overall but you still smoke.
• You think you are a safe driver but you don't wear your seatbelt or you speed regularly

Did you see yourself in that list anywhere?  I know I did.  In the coming days, we'll take a look at each of these lies, uncover the ugly truth beneath them and discover ways to make the changes you need to make in ways that you can live with. 

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Not my actual garden!

Mom and I planted our garden yesterday.  Yes, I know we're late - that's just how we are.  The massive spring rains kept us off her very damp ground for quite a while, then a variety of other poor excuses, but we finally did it!  We got tomatoes, squash, green beans, bell peppers, cucumbers, broccoli, potatoes and flowers planted.  Now we just have to sit back and wait.

Of course, there's more to it than that.  Weeding, watering, staking, thinning.  But it will be worth it in the end.  I'm pretty excited.

I was looking at quotes for this entry and ran across this one:  "It takes a while to grasp that not all failures are self-imposed, the result of ignorance, carelessness or inexperience.  It takes a while to grasp that a garden isn't a testing ground for character and to stop asking, what did I do wrong?  Maybe nothing."  ~Eleanor Perenyi

I really like that.  Not only because of what it says about our gardening efforts, but also what it says about life.  It's not always our fault when things go wrong.  Absolutely we should own up to mistakes and bad choices, but sometimes life just happens.  That's a good reminder. 

What lessons have you learned from your gardening efforts?

Summer Series

Wow!  It's been a while since I've written anything.  I had a really busy end-of-the-semester and right before finals, my daughter came home for her summer visit.  Busy, busy!

But now that things have settled down a bit, I thought I'd get back to this blogging thing.  I changed my format earlier this year, having specific types of stories on different days.  (Read about the changes here.)  However, that's too regimented for summer.  You never know what will happen, so I'll just go back to my whatever-I-happen-to-be-thinking-about style of writing.

Some of the things I've been thinking about lately include:

• Many college freshmen are woefully unable to write complete sentences.
• Some people share information that is far too personal on Facebook.  TMI, people!
• How can I incorporate more technology into my summer classes?
• I need a kick in the butt to get back to working out regularly.  Thanks a lot, Achilles Tendon!
• Maybe there are some life lessons to be learned in rock songs.

As for that last thought, I actually got to thinking about that during the Bon Jovi concert I attended in St. Louis this past Sunday.  Yeah, I know that's a weird thing to be thinking during a concert, but that's just how my brain works.  So anyway, I had the thought during the song It's My Life.  I really like the line, "I ain't gonna live forever - I just wanna live while I'm alive."  I know it was perhaps put more eloquently by William Ross Wallace when he said, "Every man dies.  Not every man really lives."  Either way, it's a good principle to remember.  This summer, while you're working, playing, swimming, fishing, and doing all the other fun activities we enjoy in Southeast Missouri, take that thought with you and use it to make your life and your relationships great.  Don't just exist.  LIVE!