Lie #1 - Diet Soda Cancels out Junk Food

As I wrote in my previous entry, we like to lie to ourselves because sometimes it's just easier.  Let's take a look at the first lie:  You tell yourself you can eat that cheeseburger and fries because you're drinking a diet soda.

First let's consider how many calories you need in a day.  That's called your BMR and you can find out more about BMR and how to figure yours here.  Let's say your BMR is 2500.  That means you need 2500 calories per day to maintain your current weight and activity level.

Now let's consider that cheeseburger and fries.  Obviously, where you get your burger is important, but let's just say you get it from Burger King.  Go here to pick your toppings and see how many calories you will get from that.  For example, a favorite of mine would be 710 calories.  Fries would be 440 calories (and that's for a medium).  Total:  1150 calories. 

Now I grant you that a regular soda would be an additional 200-300 calories, and diet soda is definitely better on the calorie count.  But seriously, can you afford to be eating almost half of your day's allowance of calories in a single fat-filled meal?  Probably not. 

We all love to splurge now and then on a burger and fries.  Just remember to not splurge every day or even every week.  You should probably limit these kind of high-calorie meals to once a month.  Perhaps even choose a lighter alternative and then you won't have to lie to yourself to feel okay.

Tread Lightly...Those Are My Toes!

Lying can be a form of ego protection.  A defense mechanism.  We lie to ourselves because believing the lie is easier than making the change that would logically follow embracing the truth. 

Author Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn put it like this:  "We do not err because truth is difficult to see.  It is visible at a glance.  We err because this is more comfortable."

I see this tendency to lie to ourselves particularly in the world of health and exercise.  With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy for the style, here is my list of health lies.

You Might Be Lying to Yourself If...

• You tell yourself you can eat that cheeseburger and fries because you're drinking a diet soda. 
• You think that taking the stairs in your building or parking a bit further from the office will substitute for working out. 
• You say that you can't work out because of that pain in your head, the cold you have, or the ache in your back.  You say that you will work out when you feel better.
• You decide that you're not really THAT overweight because you weigh less than some random stranger at the store appears to weigh.
• You consider yourself to be healthy overall but you still smoke.
• You think you are a safe driver but you don't wear your seatbelt or you speed regularly

Did you see yourself in that list anywhere?  I know I did.  In the coming days, we'll take a look at each of these lies, uncover the ugly truth beneath them and discover ways to make the changes you need to make in ways that you can live with. 

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Not my actual garden!

Mom and I planted our garden yesterday.  Yes, I know we're late - that's just how we are.  The massive spring rains kept us off her very damp ground for quite a while, then a variety of other poor excuses, but we finally did it!  We got tomatoes, squash, green beans, bell peppers, cucumbers, broccoli, potatoes and flowers planted.  Now we just have to sit back and wait.

Of course, there's more to it than that.  Weeding, watering, staking, thinning.  But it will be worth it in the end.  I'm pretty excited.

I was looking at quotes for this entry and ran across this one:  "It takes a while to grasp that not all failures are self-imposed, the result of ignorance, carelessness or inexperience.  It takes a while to grasp that a garden isn't a testing ground for character and to stop asking, what did I do wrong?  Maybe nothing."  ~Eleanor Perenyi

I really like that.  Not only because of what it says about our gardening efforts, but also what it says about life.  It's not always our fault when things go wrong.  Absolutely we should own up to mistakes and bad choices, but sometimes life just happens.  That's a good reminder. 

What lessons have you learned from your gardening efforts?

Summer Series

Wow!  It's been a while since I've written anything.  I had a really busy end-of-the-semester and right before finals, my daughter came home for her summer visit.  Busy, busy!

But now that things have settled down a bit, I thought I'd get back to this blogging thing.  I changed my format earlier this year, having specific types of stories on different days.  (Read about the changes here.)  However, that's too regimented for summer.  You never know what will happen, so I'll just go back to my whatever-I-happen-to-be-thinking-about style of writing.

Some of the things I've been thinking about lately include:

• Many college freshmen are woefully unable to write complete sentences.
• Some people share information that is far too personal on Facebook.  TMI, people!
• How can I incorporate more technology into my summer classes?
• I need a kick in the butt to get back to working out regularly.  Thanks a lot, Achilles Tendon!
• Maybe there are some life lessons to be learned in rock songs.

As for that last thought, I actually got to thinking about that during the Bon Jovi concert I attended in St. Louis this past Sunday.  Yeah, I know that's a weird thing to be thinking during a concert, but that's just how my brain works.  So anyway, I had the thought during the song It's My Life.  I really like the line, "I ain't gonna live forever - I just wanna live while I'm alive."  I know it was perhaps put more eloquently by William Ross Wallace when he said, "Every man dies.  Not every man really lives."  Either way, it's a good principle to remember.  This summer, while you're working, playing, swimming, fishing, and doing all the other fun activities we enjoy in Southeast Missouri, take that thought with you and use it to make your life and your relationships great.  Don't just exist.  LIVE!

Talked Out Tuesday: Yes, You Can!!

Friday Fun: Sunshine!

It's been a rough spring here in Southeast Missouri.  A lot of my neighbors, students, and friends have had damage from the recent flooding.  But today, the sun is shining and the temperature is in the 70's.  My fun today is going to be taking a walk with my husband on this beautiful day.

Here's a video for this sunny day.  I hope you enjoy today and your weekend.

Friday Fun: Lists & More Lists!

As I mentioned previously, I kinda like lists.  I'm not sure why - I guess they just seem orderly and I like orderly.  Over on another online community I belong to, Sploofus, we've had some recent conversations about favorite movies, books, and songs.  It's very difficult for me to pick only one favorite, so how about a list?  How about 3 lists?!!

Favorite Movies

1. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
2. Dead Poet's Society
3. Manchurian Candidate (The original, not that horrible re-make)
4. Johnny English
5. The Princess Bride
6. Clue
7. Rear Window
8. Dial M for Murder
9. Witness for the Prosecution
10. Star Trek (the new one)

Favorite Books 

1. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (there aren't a lot of books I re-read, but this one I periodically read again - it's just so good!)
2. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
3. The Life of Pi by Yann Martel
4. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
5. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See
6. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
7. The Passage by Justin Cronin
8. The Demon in the Freezer by Richard Preston
9. A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket
10. Everything Lee Child has written

Favorite Songs

1. Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin
2. Eyes of a Stranger by Queensryche
3. Animal by Def Leppard
4. Time by Pink Floyd
5. Kashmir by Led Zeppelin
6. Darkness, Darkness by Robert Plant
7. Killing the Blues by Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
8. Promises by Def Leppard
9. Cold Shot by Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble
10. Sign of the Times by Queensryche

What would be on your top ten lists?

More on That Monday: Friendship, Part 3

This is the third in a 3-part series.  Read part 1 here, and part 2 here.

Making friends isn't always easy.  Especially once we're adults.  We still have all those same fears of rejection and they can keep us from reaching out.  I have found that there are two really good ways to make friends, though.  You should try them out.

1. Re-define "friend" - I used to think my friends were only the girlfriends I hung out with.  In fact, friends are anyone you enjoy sharing time or communicating with.  My mom, husband, daughter, brothers and sisters-in-law are all friends.  The people I go to church with are friends.  The friendly people at the library are friends.  Former students who continue to share their lives with me via Facebook are friends.  Change your definition and suddenly you'll have more friends than you realized.
2. Recognize your potential friends - I see the same people at the park when I go regularly.  We are all kindred spirits, pounding the pavement for personal reasons.  I've come to know some of them and though we only see each other at the park, they are my running friends.  Look around at the people you run into all the time and maybe that's your friends.

If all else fails, I guess you could always try the Friendship Algorithm.  

Whatever Wednesday: The Ups and Downs of Being a Geek

This is quite a week for us Doctor Who geeks.  The down side is that we learned yesterday of the passing of Elisabeth Sladen.  Sladen played the investigative journalist Sarah Jane Smith on Doctor Who.  She first appeared with Doctor #3 back in 1973 and continued in the series until 1976, when she worked with Doctor #4.  Her character was so popular that she returned to the show several times and even got her own spin-off show, The Sarah Jane Adventures.  Sladen was 63 and died of cancer.  Sarah Jane was spunky, smart, sweet and funny.  I'll miss her.



On the up side, Doctor Who returns to BBC America on Saturday!!!  I am so excited about this.  My husband and I are working our way through all the old Doctor Who episodes.  (We're currently on the 5th Doctor's final season.)  We have enjoyed each actor's portrayal of the Doctor as each has had his own special way of playing him, ranging from Hartnell's professorial manner to Tennant's slightly manic, geek chic manner.  The newest Doctor, Matt Smith, plays the Doctor in a wonderfully wacky way.  He thinks bow ties are cool, he wears suspenders and pants that always seem slightly too short, and he laughs and smiles more easily than before.  But you still don't want to make the Doctor mad.  That has never been a good idea.  And now, the Doctor is coming to America!  How fun is this season going to be?  Very!

Talked Out Tuesday: How Blogs Are Born

Talked Out Tuesday: Never Give Up

Thoughtful Thursday: Motivational Quotes

I like to keep quotes around that keep me motivated and positive.  I post them on my crazy cork board, my magnetic white board, and cross-stitch them and hang them on my wall.  Here are some of my favorites.  What are some of yours?

• You are a work in progress.  ~ Runner's World
• It is not age.  It is not diet.  It is the will to succeed.  ~Jacqueline Gareau, marathoner
• The vision of a champion is  someone who is drenched in sweat at the point of exhaustion when no one else is watching.  ~Anson Dorrance, soccer coach
• Pain is weakness leaving the body.  ~Attributed to Tom Sobal, snowshoer

Whatever Wednesday: Book Review & Body Image

Saturday was a gorgeous day here in Southeast Missouri, so I decided to take a walk up to the library, which is only about 1/2 a mile from my house.  I browsed for an hour or so and picked up several books, magazines and movies.  One book, Body Outlaws, promised a look at women who were living happily within their bodies, no matter the shape or color; those who believe "self-acceptance is not defeat."  I thought surely this book would fit in perfectly with the view I try to bring to my life and to this blog.

Instead, I found essays by women so profoundly obsessed with their bodies and looks that I was aghast and disbelieving.

One woman wrote about her endless despair at her "brown face" and the perceived mystery behind it that seemingly allures and ensnares men.  For example, she is sitting in a restaurant crying to a friend about how men always stare at her while a man at a nearby table actually does so.  He leaves, comes back and tries to present the woman with earrings he has just purchased for her.  She just cowers and is flabbergasted.  "Oh, woe is me!  I'm so beautiful and mysterious that men want to get to know me.  Woe, woe, woe!" (Not an actual quote.)

How about opening up on this guy and letting him know that his actions are creepy and inappropriate?  Tell him proudly that your heritage is Indian and the Egyptian earrings he just purchased are not only way out of line, but way off in terms of ethnicity.  Tell him to get lost.  Have you ever considered that maybe you're just pretty and the ethnicity is part of that?  Be happy with your "brown face" and stop your friggin' whining!

Then there's the woman who goes off on Barbie dolls.  Sure, we've all met people who found these unnaturally proportioned dolls to reinforce negative stereotypes of women, but this gal took it to a whole other level.  She said Barbies "ultimately succeed where Hitler failed" by making people think that blond-haired, blue-eyed women are the ideal.  Wow!  There is just so much wrong with her thinking that I can't even begin to address it all.  Let me just say that she might want to seek some counseling to find out why she feels so insecure when comparing herself to a child's toy.

Then Body Outlaws continued on with essays about big butts, small stature, shaving and many other body image issues.  One common theme seemed to be that little girls learn at a young age whether or not they are pretty (read: important), and whether they are or aren't can scar them for life.

Maybe this is my age talking, or maybe it's that I never considered my looks to be my most marketable or lovable trait, or perhaps it's my inability to put up with shallow people, but here goes.  Get Over It Already!!!

To me, self-acceptance is not obsessing positively OR negatively about your looks.  It's about doing what is best for your health, making yourself as presentable and/or professional as needed for your job and your life, and getting on with things that matter.

In a world with a host of body image problems, Body Outlaws is actually just part of the problem.

More on That Monday: Friendship, Part 2

This is the 2nd in a series.  Read part 1 here.

When my daughter was little, she would often come home from school and tell us about a new friend she'd made.  She'd describe all the fun they had on the playground throughout the day, what they had for lunch, where the girl sat in the classroom - everything.  Then I'd ask what the girl's name was.  The inevitable response?  "I don't know."

I think we can learn a lesson from that method of making friends.  We need to approach the task with the reckless abandon of a kindergartner.  

Too often, we try to find friends who meet that pre-selected mold we have in mind.  That perfect fit.  When what we should really be doing is looking around us, at the people we encounter regularly, and seeing which ones we enjoy interacting with.  Which ones come to mind as you read that sentence?  Maybe she could be your new friend.  Who is it that you always share a joke with after church, or at work, or at the park?  Could she be a potential new friend?

Instead of expecting to find friends only in places that meet certain conditions, how about letting friendships occur naturally, the way they once did on the playground?

This week, see if you can make a new friend.  Reach out on Facebook, in the library, at the grocery store, at work, at the park, and offer to have coffee, take a walk, have lunch, or share contact information with someone new.  You might be surprised at your results.

Friday Fun: Homemade Pizza

One of my favorite things about Friday is the new tradition (is that an oxymoron?) in our house - homemade pizza!  And what's going to make it even more fun today is that we'll be sharing with my wonderful mom, who is having her birthday today.

Starting your own tradition is easy.  Here's the recipe I use:

• Add 2 cups all-purpose flour to your food processor.  (If you don't have one, you can do this by hand.  It's not hard, just the processor makes it sooo much faster.)
• Add 1 teaspoon salt.
• Add one package of rapid rising yeast.  (I use Fleichmann's and I found out recently that the kind that is loose in the jar marked bread-making yeast is really the same thing.  So use whatever you have.)
• Put on the lid and turn on while streaming in 2 tablespoons of olive oil.  (If you don't have any, just use whatever kind of vegetable oil you have on hand.)
• With processor still on, stream in 1 cup of hot water.  Dough will be very sticky (depending on the weather).
• Open processor and add in 1/2 cup flour, process again.
• Continue adding flour by 1/2 cup increments until it forms a ball when processed.
• Turn dough out onto lightly floured surface and knead, adding flour as needed, until dough is soft and non-sticky enough to handle.  Usually this step only takes a couple of minutes.  Let rest while you make other preparations.
• Preheat oven to 425 (Honestly, this is a guesstimate because my oven's controls are very iffy.)
• Spread one tablespoon olive oil over large pizza pan.
• Spread dough out on pizza pan, pressing rather than stretching, until dough is size and thickness desired.  (We cover one 16" pizza pan with this amount of dough)
• Top as desired and bake for 15 to 20 minutes until desired level of brownness occurs.
• Enjoy!

Talked Out Tuesday: Motivation

More on That Monday: Friendship

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.  ~Elisabeth Foley

Angie and I met at a church function when we were 15 years old.  We were two of very few girls in a huge room full of boys, so naturally, we gravitated to each other.  Next thing you know, we were friends.

Since then, we've gone to college hours away from one another, been separated by jobs and families that took up all our time, and we currently live 4 hours apart and see each other, on average, once a year.  We've weathered all kinds of situations and have remained friends through it all.

One day, Angie's daughter was asking about what things she and I have in common.  We don't generally  like the same movies, books, music or TV shows.  Confused, Samantha asked why we were friends if we didn't have anything in common.  Angie replied that we were friends because we like each other.  And that's all friendship has to be.

I don't like the societal standard that is out there in movies and TV about what friends should have in common.  They should be the same age, same gender, same socio-economic class, and they should enjoy sitting around a table drinking coffee or beer.  Oh, and there should always be at least 4 friends in the group.  Less than that is just sad.

Bull hockey!!  Friends don't have to have anything in common other than that they like each other.  Differences of opinion make for lively conversation.  And a different take on things can open up your mind, challenge your convictions, and lead you to new likes and experiences.

How did you meet your best friend?  What are some of the differences and similarities you cherish?


This is the first in a series about friendship.  I challenge you to follow along.  You might learn something.  You might even make a new friend along the way. 

Friday Fun: Perfect Weekend

(I've had a busy week and haven't gotten to try out the new format yet.  Sorry about that.  I'll get with it next week.)

I woke up this morning to the sound of pouring rain and thunder.  And it's cold enough that I had slush on my windshield.  Bleh!

But what if it was beautiful this weekend?  What would make it a perfect weekend?  Here's what I would do...

What would make this a perfect weekend for you?

Coming Soon to a Blog Near You

I'm going to try something new with my blog.  It's a combination of ideas I've seen on other blogs and my own posting habits.  The new feature is that each day of the week will have its own theme.

• More on That Mondays - These will be stories that are related or in a series.  First up:  friendship.
• Talked Out Tuesdays - Tuesdays are my busiest day at the college, and I don't usually have much energy or time for blogging.  So I'll be posting only a video with no comment on it from me.  Might be a news story, or inspirational story, music I've discovered, or even a movie trailer.  You never know.
• Whatever Wednesdays - These will be similar to my current format - just whatever I happen to be thinking about, whether it's health, music, books, or Doctor Who.
• Thriving & Thoughtful Thursdays - I'll try to feature articles that make you think, encourage you to do something positive for yourself, or celebrate being in mid-life.
• Fun Fridays - This will be like yesterday was, just a fun list, or a story, a survey, something fun to get you ready for the weekend.
• Surprising Saturdays/Sunday - What will be the most surprising thing is that I posted anything at all!  

I hope you'll join me next week for my new format.  Be sure to comment and let me know what you think.

Friday Fun

I've seen several blogs and Facebook posts recently about creating lists.  The Music 30-Day Challenge, the ABC Posts, the Photo 30-Day Challenge, etc.  While I'm not too keen on actually doing any of these (because they always seem to include things I have no interest in) I do like the lists concept.  Lists are fun. 

So I decided to make a list of my Current Favorite Things (not in any particular order, just as I think of them).

1. Pomegranate Lemonade by Crystal Light
2. Supernatural on the CW
3. Fringe on FOX
4. Bejeweled 3 Butterflies
5. History 112 (American History since 1877)
6. Creating playlists in Media Player and on my MP3 player (Next up:  Road Songs)
7. Learning to crochet
8. Having a TV in the bedroom so I can watch the shows my hubby hates in peace
9. The weather (since yesterday)
10. My house post-spring cleaning
11. My tweed blazer
12. Going to the park for a run and finding it nearly empty
13. My crazy, jumbled, crowded and colorful cork board
14. Rock bands with awesome female lead singers
15. Daylight Savings Time
16. The Exiles
17. Def Leppard (always a favorite!!)
18. My Van Gogh "Sunflowers" copy
19. Phone time with my BFF Angie
20. Phone time with my daughter Carrie
21. Phone time with Mom
22. Blogging about favorite stuff!

Crazy Cork Board

"Sunflowers"

An awesome rock band with female lead singer: